he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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