You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
