He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
