Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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