All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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