matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
