hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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