I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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