So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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