Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you didnt know i had herpes?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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