And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
