thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
