her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
