I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
