just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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