me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
