Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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