Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
