I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
