Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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