My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
