Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
