On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
