Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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