Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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