dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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