im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
