We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
