I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She told me I should be a condom model.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Randomize
