if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
And then he peed in my hair
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