"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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