Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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