i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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