the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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