Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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