Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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