Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
