Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Small penises have feelings too.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
