I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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