I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
