butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
