i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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