dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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