He uses pillows to masturbate.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
