it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
