Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
