Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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