i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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