Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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