I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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