Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sarcasm needs its own font
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
