We're facebook friends in real life
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize