what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
