I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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