After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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