I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
