You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You pole danced in your parka.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
