I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
