you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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