your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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