Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize