Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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