One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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