I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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