i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
