There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
