i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize