she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
