I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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