This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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