i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
