Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
